The Negotiator
by Danja
Summary: OneShot. Janeway and Seven of Nine deal with a Ferengi trader. R&R.


**The Negotiator**

* * *

"I _HATE_ dealing with the Ferengi," said Janeway. "I never know how much to budget for. They're notorious for tacking on extra fees."

Seven of Nine and Captain Janeway (who was carrying a PADD computer and a small pouch filled with latinum) were on a desolate planet walking towards the ship of a Ferengi trader.

Neither one of them particularly wanted to do business with the Ferengi - but they were in the Delta Quadrant and Voyager needed supplies.

"Ask him how much it'll cost for him to walk eighty Federation paces outside of his ship," Seven replied.

Janeway stopped and turned towards Seven. "_FEDERATION_ paces?" she asked, surprised. "I never knew there _WAS_ such a thing."

"Federation paces and Ferengi paces are two different things," Seven explained. "A Federation pace is about three times the length of a Ferengi pace."

_I'm beginning to see how Ferengi paces are much more profitable for the Ferengi,_ Janeway thought.

"Wouldn't it be easier to just go inside?" Janeway asked.

"He'll charge us to walk through the door. He'll charge us to sit down. He'll charge us to walk through this or that room," Seven explained. "Outside his ship, he's vulnerable."

Janeway and Seven approached the ship and stopped at the door.

Janeway knocked on the door. "Who's there?" the trader replied from inside.

"Captain Kathryn Janeway, USS Voyager," Janeway replied.

"You want me to open the door, that'll be fifty latinum," the Ferengi trader replied from inside.

Janeway and Seven looked at one another. _She's good,_ Janeway thought.

Seven touched a finger to her lips, bidding Janeway silent. She then walked over next to the doorway and braced herself against the ship, out of the Ferengi trader's sight. She then gestured to Janeway to keep going.

"You want your latinum, open the door," said Janeway.

The Ferengi trader opened the door. Janeway handed fifty latinum to him.

"How much will it cost for you to walk eighty Federation paces away from your ship?" Janeway asked.

"Eighty- ... What's going on?" the trader asked. "You don't trust me inside my own _SHIP?_"

"I don't trust you _PERIOD,_" Janeway shot back. "How much?"

The trader sighed and said, "Six hundred latinum."

Janeway looked at Seven. Seven held up two fingers.

"Two hundred," said Janeway.

"Four hundred," said the trader.

Janeway looked at Seven again. Seven nodded her head.

"Deal," said Janeway as she gave the trader four hundred latinum. She then walked eighty paces away from the ship.

The trader followed Janeway away from the ship, with Seven of Nine silently following the trader.

* * *

Janeway, the trader, and Seven stopped. The trader began to say, "This will cost you ..." but then let out a agonizing scream.

Janeway looked up to find Seven gripping one of the trader's earlobes - a Ferengi erogenous zone - tightly.

The trader tore away from Seven's grip, threw up his hands in frustration, and cried, "Is there ANYONE in this quadrant who _DOESN'T_ know about a Ferengi's erogenous zones?" He then turned to Seven of Nine and asked, "Who ... are _YOU?_"

Seven crossed her arms and replied, "Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero One".

The Ferengi turned back towards Janeway and shouted, "You brought a _BORG?_"

"Someone has to keep you honest," said Janeway.

The trader glared at Seven. "You people are almost as cheap as the humans!" he ejaculated. He then added, "Leave it to the Borg to give the humans 'Screw over the Ferengi' lessons.

"How's a person supposed to make any _PROFITS_ around here?"

"I need your signature," said Janeway as she presented him with the PADD.

Once more, the trader began to say, "That will cost you ..." Once more, Seven of Nine grabbed his earlobe and the trader let out an agonizing scream.

"It's either your signature or your head on that contract," Seven growled as she kept an iron grip on the Ferengi trader's earlobe.

"You wouldn't_ DARE!_" the Ferengi exclaimed in outrage.

"Try me," said Seven.

"You want to go against the Borg, be my guest," said Janeway. She then added, "You're going to fulfill _ALL_ the terms of the contract ... and you'll do it without us or Voyager incurring _ANY_ additional and/or unauthorized charges."

"All right! All right! I'll sign! I'll sign!" cried the trader.

"No additional charges?"

"No additional charges! I swear! Just _CALL HER OFF!_"

"Seven," said Janeway quietly. "Let him go."

With that, Seven let go of the trader's earlobe.

"You people are hard to get along with," the trader moaned to Seven as he massaged his aching earlobe.

* * *

Contract signed, the three were now in the trader's ship.

The small ship was cramped, piled high with merchandise. _It's a wonder he can move through this thing,_ Janeway thought.

Something on the floor caught Seven's eye. She picked up a chef's knife off the floor.

_"HEY! PUT THAT BACK!"_ the Ferengi trader shouted at Seven.

"Do you use this?" Seven asked.

"No," said the trader.

_He's lying,_ Seven thought. _He wouldn't have panicked if this thing was dull._

_Which furthermore means that it's sharp. _Seven concluded silently.

"Did you mean what you said ... about taking my head?" the trader asked.

"If need be," Seven replied matter-of-factly as she fondled the knife. "As far as the Ferengi are concerned, contracts with non-Ferengi are changeable at will."

The trader went towards the front of the ship. He returned carrying four burlap sacks filled with items.

"Here's the stuff you wanted," said the Ferengi trader as he presented the bags to Janeway and Seven. "Dilithium crystals, flour, Talaxian bee pollen ..."

"Everything _LOOKS_ genuine," said Janeway as she rifled through the bags. She then asked Seven, "You want a look at this?"

Seven scanned the dilithium crystals with her cybernetic eye. _Genuine ... for once,_ she thought.

"Would _I_ cheat you?" the trader asked.

Seven and Janeway looked at the trader. _You did_ NOT _just ask that question ..._

"Forget I said that," the trader nervously backpedaled.

"Everything appears to be in order," said Seven as she rifled through the bags, inspecting the merchandise. "Everything appears to be genuine."

"Two thousand latinum ... the price we agreed on," said Janeway as she gave produced the latinum from the pouch and gave it to the trader.

The trader nervously accepted the latinum, keeping one eye on the latinum and the other eye on Seven of Nine - who was standing off to one side, wielding the knife.

"Pleasure doing business with you," said Janeway as she picked up two of the bags. "Let's go," she called after Seven.

Seven put the knife down on the floor, picked up the remaining two bags, and followed Janeway out the door.

THE END


End file.
